How to do consent without sounding like a robot

Or make it a sexy robot.

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I’ve never been on a date with someone who was only in town briefly. I’m not one to forge connections that can’t last because I’m turned on by feeling safe and cared for. Recently though someone ping’d me on Feeld. He said he was only in town for another week and that he was feeling “very giving sexually.” 

I was intrigued by his profile and this particular nugget he had dropped. I was curious how I’d feel in this kind of dead-end encounter, so I decided to see if there was potential for some immediate physical fun. I said, “Let’s meet up and see if there’s chemistry.” (This was 2021, so then I asked him if he’s vaccinated because I’m not a monster. He was. Vaccinated, not a monster).

I have a habit of dropping myself into strange and challenging situations, like I’m a lab rat in a maze, so that I can witness myself navigating my way out. It’s a recurring practice in learning about myself. Often, I’m surprised and impressed with my emotional piloting skills and I get to go, ‘Hey, look how you did that! Nice work.’ 

This experience was no different. 

We met for sushi. I was struck by unfamiliar thoughts and new feelings in my body. Instead of thinking, ‘Do I want to see this person again?’ or even ‘Does this person seem like someone I could build something with?’ I was asking myself, ‘What do I want right now?’ and nothing more. It was a new kind of living in the moment. It was a pure sense of now, untainted by past or future. My desires could be exclusively of the present. 

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