Moving from, "They should ask" to "I trust myself to voice and hold my boundaries" has made my life so much better.

On recognizing what I can and can't control

Boundaries + Consent for People Pleasers starts 9/4.

Moving from, "They should ask" to "I trust myself to voice and hold my boundaries" has made my life so much better. I'm not suggesting people shouldn't ask, I'm merely noticing that one of those I can control, and one I can't. I also know myself pretty well and I know I will likely cross my own boundaries when I'm worked up. I'm going to forgive myself for that after and ask with curiosity what I learned about myself. I'm going to use my judgment about whether or not I feel generally safe with this person. I ask myself if perhaps I haven't yet and can make some requests and set some boundaries that they couldn't have known without me telling them, or might have learned something contrary elsewhere.

I want to take risks and challenge myself. This is how I learn new things—whether that’s new skills or new information about myself—and grow into the person I want to be. I want to explore my curiosities even when they come with fear or resistance. I want to be able to take risks, so I don’t punish others for taking risks with me. I want to be able to take risks, so I try to handle my regret, embarrassment, or icky feelings without blaming anyone, including myself. I want to be able to take risks so I make a plan to support myself before, during, and after. Then I take responsibility for the choices I make, even when they’re risky, and even when I regret them. (More on regret as information soon…)

// I have a recorded class on this spectrum you can do at your own pace. \

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