Relationships impede autonomy. So does having a plant.
Are you giving beyond your capacity and resenting others for not reading your mind?
Live Classes • Recorded Classes • Workbooks • Consulting • Merch! • Share the Load Podcast • You’re Doing It Wrong Podcast
What would you like to ask a consent educator? Submit your questions here and I’ll answer them on this Substack.
My book, Unsolicited Advice: A Consent Educator's (Canceled) Memoir, is available only on Substack and starts here.
I’ve heard “relationships impede my autonomy” by people who’ve lovebombed me, from Brooke Lynn Heights on Season 11 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, and by many others. I often find myself wondering…
Do relationships impede your autonomy or are you putting off healing the attachment wounds that created your avoidant strategies?
Do relationships impede your autonomy or are you afraid of being known?
Do relationships impede your autonomy or are you afraid of disappointing people?
Do relationships impede your autonomy or do you lose yourself in relationships?
Do relationships impede your autonomy or do you perhaps not know yourself very well?
•••
Can you share this free article with anyone you think would like it? Restack it? Share a little loooove? <3
Recommending this newsletter in your recommendations list is the best way to help spread the word! xx
Live Classes • Recorded Classes • Workbooks • Consulting • Merch! • Share the Load Podcast • You’re Doing It Wrong Podcast
Eve from my own series called Portraits of Young Women, 2017.
•••
Do relationships impede your autonomy or do you give beyond your capacity and resent others for your burnout?
Do relationships impede your autonomy or have you fallen for the self-sufficiency myth?
Do relationships impede your autonomy or do you have flimsy boundaries?
Relationships impede our autonomy when we are people pleasing, when we give too much, when we don’t know, express, or hold our boundaries.
And…
In relationships, we often give up some autonomy in exchange for love, support, sex, intimacy, care, family, witnessing ourselves through the other as a mirror, and so much more.
Other things that impede our autonomy:
· Having a plant
· Having a pet
· Having a job
· Having a body
· Having a home
· Owning a car
· The weather
· A family member’s or loved one’s illness
· Traffic
You get the idea.
Hopefully these exchanges feel reciprocal and nourishing more often than depleting. Hopefully you find yourself in relationships with all kinds of beings that bring joy and pleasure into your life. Hopefully you have relationships with people who don’t want you to burn out, who want to respect your limits and boundaries, and who support you in that.
•••
What would you like to ask a consent educator? Submit your questions here and I’ll answer them on this Substack.
Boundaries + Consent for People Pleasers 9/4 - 10/9
Consent Educator Training 9/16-10/21
Consent-Based Teaching Artist Program 9/16-12/9
Unblocked 10/16-12/4
Live Classes • Recorded Classes • Workbooks • Consulting • Merch! • Share the Load Podcast • You’re Doing It Wrong Podcast • Intimacy Coordination for TV, Film, + Theater
Hi, I’m Mia. I found consent through Intimacy Coordination and fell in love with it so much that I decided to dedicate my life to making it as widely available as possible.
I offer classes on consent and creativity, people pleasing, the romantic comedy, as well as trainings for people who want to learn to teach consent. You can read more and sign up at consentwizardry.com.
Follow me on IG @consent.wizardry.